Energy, feed me, please.

It's been chilly out lately.
My kind of nice weather would be partly cloudy skies in the mid 70s, with low wind.
Not too cold and not too warm, you know? AND LESS SKIN CANCER. :)

I'm not sure why, but I've been feeling a major lack of energy lately. No, not depressed. I feel fine emotionally. But....I just feel so tired... D;
Am I under some unknown stress? ._.
let's all agree to blame school~ HEHEHE

i checked my grades on daedalus. I've gone up one point on my overall average.
If i calculated correctly, it should be a 92 -ish.
I'm desperate for my grade to go even higher. So i would like to be more focused in academics...But I'm a natural born lazybutt. :/

I heard that we're going to get our junior yr schedules in prefect 2morrow.
At first, i didn't believe anyone, cuz tech is slow.
The more i thought about it, the more excited i got.
I'm a bit hyped for junior year.
But gosh, the feeling of getting old hurts.
I still miss freshman year a whole lot.

pet peeves.

Today's a sad sad day.

I'm too mean, I'm too nice.
clearly there's something wrong with me.

I hate how, when it comes to people I have known for more than 3 yrs, and i know them so well, it's hard for me to tell them what irritates me.
Let's say, they're doing something thts annoying me, but i wouldnt have the heart to tell them to stop doing it....because i'd feel like an ASSHOLE.
I understand caring is part of being a good friend...but it gets really annoying when people DEMAND me to tell them whats wrong...just cause I'm not smiling, or I'm not talking.
you know, it's human to NOT smile, and I can be quiet when i feel like it. DOES IT MEAN I'M SAD? no....... -_-
And if you were close to me, I'd tell you what's wrong. you dont have to force it out of me.

And to finish my rant of pet peeves, I don't like it when people cling on to me. LITERALLY. once in a while is okay..... BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE LINKING ARMS WITH SOMEONE EVERYDAY AND BEING DRAGGED AROUND LIKE A DOG.

A sad day brings sad thoughts. i kinda got teary eyed when i got home today. my mom asked me what was wrong, and i told her tht i was sad.
she was REALLY surprised. she's like how could school make you sad?.....
so then i decided not to tell her what was wrong, cuz i figured, she wouldnt understand. DO I REALLY SEEM LIKE A PERSON WHO'S UNCAPABLE OF BEING SAD? :/
she kept trying to guess what was wrong, and asked me if i got into a fight with someone. NO.

i wanted to finish weekend hw today, but my emotions got in the way.
i shall now try to draw with my crappy drawings skills. to vent out feelings.....

Somehow it's thanks to you.

I'm learning.
here at fifteen,
I'm understanding
more about humans.

Most of these things,
the rest of the world
would have learned a whole decade ago.
I'm far, far too late.

Having to decide whether to;
fight myself or accept myself,
ignore strangers or open up to them,
to love or to hate.

i used to think
that certain views were ridiculous
because i was hidden under rocks,
and tons of darkening thoughts.

Having seen part of another's world,
through part of another's eyes,
I'm corrected in amazaement.

Yes, this world is definitely...
cruel,
unfair,
and a pile of nonsense.

But what every human has to go through,
is life.
and in life,
there are good things to look for.

The ties of friendship,
The warmth of meeting new people,
The amazing things one can learn from these people.

-------
For once, I didn't write a poem because I was sad. :D

Springbreak is over, and it wont be another month and a half till we get some rest again.

This week i had surprisingly very little hw. :O
It makes me paranoid because it probably means that I'll have A LOT of hw next week.

It's April, Dear.

April fools was no fun this year,cuz i forgot it was april.... ;x
today's my first day at rest since spring break started.
i've been running around places with everyone. :) funnnnnn~ :3

Surprisingly, i actually did start my hw a bit early this spring break. :D
i'm being a responsible little kiddie~ HEHEHEHEHE

...except i saved my projects for last, so I shall start my 3 projects today T_______T

ONLY 3 DAYS OF VACATION LEFT D:<

Majors results are getting closer ~

btw; i made a tumblr......

sephora & alice in wonderland.

Yesterday was really interesting~
it didnt rain, like i expected, so that made me pretty happy. :)
since i only had 3 periods, school day was pretty relaxing ;D

the first time i went to sephora without going into Macy's, haha
looking at all the make up was really cool
i didnt know there were so many different kinds of eyeliner, eyeshadow, lipgloss, etc

the dry shampoo was pretty cool, since it worked :D
i'm thinking of buying it in the future, since my hair is oily. D:

the hatter in alice in wonderland looked scary ;x
huge & scary green eyes. :O
the way the white queen moved annoyed me. XD
why cant she walk like a normal person? T___T

I GOT A 99 ON MY TRIG TEST! :D
my highest score so far >:D
so now my average is currently an 85.
i need to get all 90's in the future so that it can be raised to at least a 90 :3

why, why me.

argh.
i thought today was an okay day

then i went to play handball with julia and joanne after school.
i sucked
worse than my day 1. how is that possible? ):

arghjklasdfg.

i got 91.22 on my report card.
my 2nd average that's 90+ in high school. :)
but it doesnt seem to have the same happy affect as the first time. :/

gahsdfghjkl.

I'm still sick. fuckinghjklasdfg. D:

I have so much hw today and yet all i feel like doing is going to sleep. ):

Fog is pretty sexy.

THERE WAS FOG THIS MORNING! :D
at least, where i live, there was ;O
i think fog is pretty cool, besides all the humidity crap ):
it feels like you're moving through clouds, hehehe.

so i was pretty happy that it wasn't raining when i left the house, but then it started raining right when i got off the bus. argh D;
today isn't as bad as other rainy days though :)
i feel content~ hahaa

parizman was saying how, when kids say they like school, it could be a sign that they have family problems.
i think that's pretty true.
that's how i felt back then.
when my parents would yell at each other nonstop.
i would do anything to get away from home. :/
and then they got divorced. yay? :D

i watched "barefoot gen" in global today. it's this anime, which is made from a manga written buy a Japanese person who survived the atomic bomb in WWII.
the dying part of it all is horrible and ugly to watch.

English is boring these days;
and this is what i write about....
You can change your clothes
You can change your hair
You can change your way of life
But you can never ever change the past
You can never change the pain you've gone through
You can never change the way your heart beats.