I will fulminate at you if you don't stop being a jerk.

LOL THIS IS IRRELEVANT. SAT WORDDDDDDD !

oh the irony.

i felt all bubbly and butterflyish this morning. silly little girl.

i love xinru, alyssa and diana for getting me the SHINee CD + folder :333333

now about a friend i have 4th period with.
she talks to me about her problems about how her friends arent really treating her as a friend.
the irony? i feel that way about her. i feel like she only tells me things when she feels down. what about all the other times?

do i even care? Yes...

1620 on the psat. it's so shitty it's pathetic, right?
well, i never had sat prep or anything like that. i barely studied myself.
so in a way, i am okay with this grade.

i make myself feel as if i don't really give a shit about my grades.
well, i do. i just dont have the initiative to do anything about it.
which is the same thing i guess...

NVM. LET'S JUST SAY I AM A BAD STUDENT. there.

http://nana-truethoughts.blogspot.com/

in case you cared.

shhhhhhhhh

nana's inner voice: it sucks to be forgotten
nana's defense system: stfu no one cares.

Forever alone.

It seems like people are getting into relationships day after day now...
I'm not going to lie.
I mean, I feel happy for them, but I can't help but feel envious of them too.

late nights, crappy internet, finals, and company.

so i've had the least sleep this week, and my internet has been poopy. so i haven't been on. yeahhhh.

monday; pre-wedding-dinner party.-slept at 11
tuesday night; wedding-dinner party.- slept at 1
wednesday; first day of finals: trig (i got a 63 -_- ) , health , and english.
thursday; went to manhattan, NYU of dentisitry to see if i could get braces...they said they'd inform me months later. FAILNESS.
friday(today);i was randomly sadddd. i'm supposed to be at my friend's sweet 16 movie thing. but i dont have his number. so i fail. ;x

TOMORROW MY AUNT AND GRANDMA AND MY COUSIN ARE COMING BACK FROM FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
they're gonna stay in NY for 2 days, and then go to china. ><

i needa study for my global final on monday.
and then study for the damn regents. :/

I STILL NEED A GRAPHING CALCULATORRR. ):

I dislike the hot blazing sun on my sweaty skin.

Does it hurt more when someone close to you lies to you,
or when that person decides to stop telling you things?

Until this year, I never realized how important trust is to me.
It bothers me a lot when people ask me questions to see if I'll lie, because that shows they don't trust me to tell them the truth.
And the fact is, I will not lie. I'd flat out tell it to your face. I don't care if that's not what you want to hear.

---
So yesterday was Tolerance Day. I liked reading people's signs. It made me feel like Tech is diverse and accepting.
The reason I didn't make one is because, I felt that what I WANTED to write would be too personal for me to share with the world.
It's something only a few of you know.

Energy, feed me, please.

It's been chilly out lately.
My kind of nice weather would be partly cloudy skies in the mid 70s, with low wind.
Not too cold and not too warm, you know? AND LESS SKIN CANCER. :)

I'm not sure why, but I've been feeling a major lack of energy lately. No, not depressed. I feel fine emotionally. But....I just feel so tired... D;
Am I under some unknown stress? ._.
let's all agree to blame school~ HEHEHE

i checked my grades on daedalus. I've gone up one point on my overall average.
If i calculated correctly, it should be a 92 -ish.
I'm desperate for my grade to go even higher. So i would like to be more focused in academics...But I'm a natural born lazybutt. :/

I heard that we're going to get our junior yr schedules in prefect 2morrow.
At first, i didn't believe anyone, cuz tech is slow.
The more i thought about it, the more excited i got.
I'm a bit hyped for junior year.
But gosh, the feeling of getting old hurts.
I still miss freshman year a whole lot.

pet peeves.

Today's a sad sad day.

I'm too mean, I'm too nice.
clearly there's something wrong with me.

I hate how, when it comes to people I have known for more than 3 yrs, and i know them so well, it's hard for me to tell them what irritates me.
Let's say, they're doing something thts annoying me, but i wouldnt have the heart to tell them to stop doing it....because i'd feel like an ASSHOLE.
I understand caring is part of being a good friend...but it gets really annoying when people DEMAND me to tell them whats wrong...just cause I'm not smiling, or I'm not talking.
you know, it's human to NOT smile, and I can be quiet when i feel like it. DOES IT MEAN I'M SAD? no....... -_-
And if you were close to me, I'd tell you what's wrong. you dont have to force it out of me.

And to finish my rant of pet peeves, I don't like it when people cling on to me. LITERALLY. once in a while is okay..... BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE LINKING ARMS WITH SOMEONE EVERYDAY AND BEING DRAGGED AROUND LIKE A DOG.

A sad day brings sad thoughts. i kinda got teary eyed when i got home today. my mom asked me what was wrong, and i told her tht i was sad.
she was REALLY surprised. she's like how could school make you sad?.....
so then i decided not to tell her what was wrong, cuz i figured, she wouldnt understand. DO I REALLY SEEM LIKE A PERSON WHO'S UNCAPABLE OF BEING SAD? :/
she kept trying to guess what was wrong, and asked me if i got into a fight with someone. NO.

i wanted to finish weekend hw today, but my emotions got in the way.
i shall now try to draw with my crappy drawings skills. to vent out feelings.....

Somehow it's thanks to you.

I'm learning.
here at fifteen,
I'm understanding
more about humans.

Most of these things,
the rest of the world
would have learned a whole decade ago.
I'm far, far too late.

Having to decide whether to;
fight myself or accept myself,
ignore strangers or open up to them,
to love or to hate.

i used to think
that certain views were ridiculous
because i was hidden under rocks,
and tons of darkening thoughts.

Having seen part of another's world,
through part of another's eyes,
I'm corrected in amazaement.

Yes, this world is definitely...
cruel,
unfair,
and a pile of nonsense.

But what every human has to go through,
is life.
and in life,
there are good things to look for.

The ties of friendship,
The warmth of meeting new people,
The amazing things one can learn from these people.

-------
For once, I didn't write a poem because I was sad. :D

Springbreak is over, and it wont be another month and a half till we get some rest again.

This week i had surprisingly very little hw. :O
It makes me paranoid because it probably means that I'll have A LOT of hw next week.

It's April, Dear.

April fools was no fun this year,cuz i forgot it was april.... ;x
today's my first day at rest since spring break started.
i've been running around places with everyone. :) funnnnnn~ :3

Surprisingly, i actually did start my hw a bit early this spring break. :D
i'm being a responsible little kiddie~ HEHEHEHEHE

...except i saved my projects for last, so I shall start my 3 projects today T_______T

ONLY 3 DAYS OF VACATION LEFT D:<

Majors results are getting closer ~

btw; i made a tumblr......

sephora & alice in wonderland.

Yesterday was really interesting~
it didnt rain, like i expected, so that made me pretty happy. :)
since i only had 3 periods, school day was pretty relaxing ;D

the first time i went to sephora without going into Macy's, haha
looking at all the make up was really cool
i didnt know there were so many different kinds of eyeliner, eyeshadow, lipgloss, etc

the dry shampoo was pretty cool, since it worked :D
i'm thinking of buying it in the future, since my hair is oily. D:

the hatter in alice in wonderland looked scary ;x
huge & scary green eyes. :O
the way the white queen moved annoyed me. XD
why cant she walk like a normal person? T___T

I GOT A 99 ON MY TRIG TEST! :D
my highest score so far >:D
so now my average is currently an 85.
i need to get all 90's in the future so that it can be raised to at least a 90 :3

why, why me.

argh.
i thought today was an okay day

then i went to play handball with julia and joanne after school.
i sucked
worse than my day 1. how is that possible? ):

arghjklasdfg.

i got 91.22 on my report card.
my 2nd average that's 90+ in high school. :)
but it doesnt seem to have the same happy affect as the first time. :/

gahsdfghjkl.

I'm still sick. fuckinghjklasdfg. D:

I have so much hw today and yet all i feel like doing is going to sleep. ):

Fog is pretty sexy.

THERE WAS FOG THIS MORNING! :D
at least, where i live, there was ;O
i think fog is pretty cool, besides all the humidity crap ):
it feels like you're moving through clouds, hehehe.

so i was pretty happy that it wasn't raining when i left the house, but then it started raining right when i got off the bus. argh D;
today isn't as bad as other rainy days though :)
i feel content~ hahaa

parizman was saying how, when kids say they like school, it could be a sign that they have family problems.
i think that's pretty true.
that's how i felt back then.
when my parents would yell at each other nonstop.
i would do anything to get away from home. :/
and then they got divorced. yay? :D

i watched "barefoot gen" in global today. it's this anime, which is made from a manga written buy a Japanese person who survived the atomic bomb in WWII.
the dying part of it all is horrible and ugly to watch.

English is boring these days;
and this is what i write about....
You can change your clothes
You can change your hair
You can change your way of life
But you can never ever change the past
You can never change the pain you've gone through
You can never change the way your heart beats.

Did you ever count all the things you had?

I was having pessimistic thoughts today...again...
:/
but previously, I've thought of ways to make myself feel better
like...things I should be thankful for :]

so here's a list :3

I'm thankful for.....

1.not being too short or too tall
2.being exceptional in academics.
3.getting into tech
4.having friends (like rachel, hahaa)
5.not having a disability
6.having no allergies
7.not being obese ;O
8.not being blind
9.having an awesome mom :D
10.having an awesome aunt :3
11.having a laptop
12.not being deformed
13.having a nice home
14.having yummy food
15.having clothes
16.being born in the U.S.A (peter chau suggested this, hahaa)

hehehe

I played handball for the first time today! :D
I feel fine though; no broken bones, or hands, or feet. :O

Julia said i would feel frustrated, but i didnt~ :3

I THINK ITS FUN! :D

It feels nice to play a sport...if u can consider it one ;D

I LOVE NICE WEATHER!
altho its supposed to rain mon and tue. D; ARGHADNKSD

I'm sick. sore throat. SO DRY AND IRRITATING. D:

I need new clothes >3<

trying to plan my spring break ;D

I've decided to make it half hw, half social life. HEHEHHE

I'm confused.
I don't like myself at all.
why do people even bother with me.

I feel like i'm deceiving people
when they show any sign of affection towards me

what the hell do they see in me?

I dont think i'm worth their time

i'm somehow waiting for someone to tell me
that they hate me as much as i hate myself.
so that i can cry my guts out,
with a better reason than self hatred.

:)

This week had been pretty nice so far
with a few depressing and annoying aspects.

I talked to Hannah today! :D
long time since I've seen her. ><
I missed her a lot
i feel happy after talking to her :3

i need new earphones
mine got stuck between the chair and the wall of the train~
so i just left it on the train... T___T

I LOVE THE NICE WARM WEATHERRRR. MAKES ME HAPPY =D

Hoping that destiny will miraculously lead me to somewhere nice.

1. ssr
2. media
3. bio
4. college prep

I have 0.0000007% chance of getting into ssr, BUT IM PUTTING IT FIRST ANYWAY. :D

Media is my highest ranking ><

Science is my 2nd highest average. [not including chinese] :S

College prep is there so i don't get put into any major below this point. :D



5.industrial design
6.chem
7.bio med
8.law and society
9.arhitecture
10.math
11.environmental science
12.electro
13.comp science
14.civil engineering
15.aerospace

Majors.D:

AGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHA.
Majors suck. seriously.
or I suck. for not having any interests.
for not being particularly good at.....anything...

Majors I've thought about:
media
ssr
bio
chem
ias

Order of.....preferred-ness? [I'm actually not INTERESTED in any of them]
1.bio
2.ssr [psychology! and stuff...]
3.ias [I'm scared of the pressure of ap classes D: ]
4.media [just cause.]
5.chem [science....]

in these majors, there are things that attract me.
but even MORE things that make me want to NOT pick them. D:
decisions, decisions. DX

Life has been okay, I guess.
but it could be better...?

Let's evolve at level...?

So after doing my health hw, which was about emotions, depression, + suicide, I realized I've been in a depression...for about a month. :O
I wasn't really aware of it. I don't think anyone else noticed either. ._.
But everyday after school, I would feel very irritable and bitch at Julia. D:
Poor kid.
I think I'm okay now, though. :D

So I finished most of my hw....I guess.

I still have english essay to do. T_T
And 2 projects. Health and Global.
I guess I could do health in a day.
But I hate global. D: hatehatehatehatehatehatehate. stupid current events. I have to waste 10 bucks on the new york times T_T

I came to a conclusion that my vacations kinda suck. there's always hw/projects to do. :I

I've been Guilun and SHINee deprived lately. :x
I'm still waiting for Hello Baby's enlgish subs and I wanna watch strong heart.
But of course, I'm too busy doing hw. ):

I got fatter over vacation. wth.

A feeling of emptiness.

I haven't started any of my hw yet.
But I shall make myself start....soon!........ :D

I haven't seen Connie in ages! ):

I made a formspring, but it seems.....boring. :x

I haven't been on aim in a longggg while.
actually...HALF the time I AM on aim.....just invisible. ._.
cuz...I'm not in the mood to talk to people these days. D:

I think I'm turning more and more pessimistic.
Half the time I feel dead at school.
I don't know if it's because of boredom or lack of energy.
I feel like an old woman growing tired of old age. T_T
It's like a whole 180 degree turn compared to freshman year.
REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO BE REALLY ENERGETIC? I often wonder what the hell happened to all that energy. D:

My grades aren't doing so well. D:
I don't pay attention in chem anymore, even though Ms.Hall changed our seats and i sit in the front again...I keep zoning out. D:
I already failed a global pop quiz........and that adds on to how much i suck at global already.
english is so boring now, since i have a new student teacher. plus, this one gives wayyy more hw. D:< I DON'T LIKE HER. AT ALL. D:<
Tanzman has been absent for a couple of days. we're basically just practicing drawing iso and shading.

I went to see my guidance cousnelor for the first time last week. (because Vionna went to see hers. >< )
I asked my guidance counselor about majors, and she was no help at all. -_-
she asked me what my best subject was, and i said chinese.....
then she asked me what my next best subject was, and i said chem.
then she told me to go onliine and search "career inventory".......-_-
and THEN she wanted me to sign up for nhs. D:
but i have ZERO hours...... T_T

so i'm still clueless as to what major i want to be in. D:

I like Parizman's idea of a happy box.
i just need shtuff to put in it now.....

The few bright sides?:
-This is the first year that i get to keep SOME of my chinese new year money! :D
although i only got to keep $120, it's better than getting to keep nothing. :D (but i have this feeling that my mom's going to take it away from me later....D: )

-I'm doing better in trig! :D (even though i screwed up the 2nd test already)

Dear Adam,

Not the tallest individual
but definitely one of the brightest
so maybe not everything goes his way
but his goals are always there to stay

Even if it's been a decade and three quarters
that he hasnt been in sight
but a simple hello
brings a chain of a million other words

He doesn't dwell in just one globe
but travels to many others
communnicates with an empathetic mind
that absorbs support from all his friends

A kid in a normal home today
that had lesser brain cells yesterday
whose future looks forever bright
with nothing dark in sight

A friendly human being
with alien traits of intelligence
perhaps he'll rule the world someday
as the first "part-asian" mini Einstein.






-Sorry for procrastinating,
[ and thanks for being a friend. :D ]

Contacts! :D

My facebook works again... :D

I got contacts today! :D

Julia doesn't think there's much difference... ._.

Contacts don't hurt...I just had a hard time putting them ON. -Julia says it's cause my eyes are small- T_T

It feels really nice with them on, because it makes me think i have perfect vision. xD
But for some reason I can't see things close to me....
But things that are far away are really clear. O_O

5 days of vacation left!
I'm kinda anxious to find out who I'm gonna have for tech drawing and health.

Goodbye Facebook, Hello Baby SHINee!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The real home is always the most comfortable.

I MISS YOU GUYS! ><
so today is DAY 2 at Julia's. I don't feel too used to it.
My place feels more at home. (obviously...)

^Day 1.
-We baked cookies and played DDR. and I ignored hw :X

^Day 2
-I woke up and did hw..till noon. (STILL NOT DONE DX )
i need to study for finals tomorrow. ><

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIANA! :D
From one to sixteen,
You'll forever be the youngest I've ever seen,
From guilun to taiwanese dramas,
And asian fanatics to......fighting llamas?
I love you
as Diana Situ~


XINRU LIN! Will you tell me my horoscope? :3
Please and Thank You! <3

We don't exist.

You're my hope and inspiration
When I'm fighting for success
Because I feel the need
to become like someone as great as you.

You're my heart breaker
When it comes to reality
Because I know that
I could never reach the stars with you.

You seem to be my everything,
But really,You and I,
are farther apart than
the stars and planet Earth.

To be.

Mr.Mccollum's speeches are very powerful. T_T
One group in our class wasn't able to finish before the bell rang Friday, and they got a 55.
He was giving us this lecture about trying your best in everything. And that life is all or nothing. 0 or 1. Fail or Succeed.

Since he's so powerful, I came home today and the first thing I did was hw! :O
I finished chem and trig in less than an hour. AMAZING!

-------
It's been established that I'm moving my stuff to Julia's this Friday.
I'm gonna bring my laptop to her place, and try to leech off of someone's internet, but I can't gaurantee that I'll be able to. D:

-------
That 10 phrases thing in Mr.Mccollum's class produced wierd words for me:
some of the things i put down were: win, fight, ORANGES, stand, pond, drill, to be, scream, and continue walking.
XD

Mysterious JoJo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp2Cbgdf3WI
^Taemin got pushed around by these...super chubby girls on Star King. ><
HE'S SO SKINNY THE WIND CAN BLOW HIM AWAY~~~~~~~
He was carried again, for like the 2nd time on Star King. SO ADORABLE~ >3<

What surprised me most was that he was actually able to carry the girl!...and then...WALK......!
...teeeheee...he wasnt able to pick her up at the end, though. xD

The song JoJo by SHINee has been stuck in my head. ><
Although no one seems to know who JoJo is, I still like the song.


Today was 'sit at home and find vids to watch' day...
Tomorrow is hw day! D:

1.Trig
2.Rewrite soph tech notebook. T_T
3.Finish global exta credit... x_x

Announcement:
My mom and I are staying at Julia's house for like a couple of months starting sometime soon, so I probably won't be able to go online for a while...since she doesn't have internet... DX
Why?
-Because her parents are going to China for a while, and they wanted my mom to stay with her and her brother. And that's how i was dragged along, because if my momm left me, i would be alone...with no one to make me food. DX
When?
I'm not sure exactly when, but I know it's sometime in January. I think..next week, maybe?
How this will affect you:
uh...I don't think this will affect you...
...much...

:D

Resist the catchy catchy lyrics.

This week is basically:
me not doing hw.
me sleeping late.
me watching videos of SJ-M and SHINee.
me digging deeper into the scary fangirl stage.

I was reading this person's blog about how Taemin was harrassed in his high school.
Stupid people these days. I didn't think people would bully celebrities. Poor Taemin. >< --> July 18, 1993 <-- He's basically only a year older than us. basically.
It would suck to be bullied in high just cause you were famous.

I was watching another vid. where Donghae talks about how his dad died in '06 from cancer. It was sad. I cried. uncontrollably. My mom thinks I have issues.
I now think better of donghae... >3<


I wrote another poem!

Fold two sides

Forget it
It's never gonna happen
It's not for me
Maybe in another life
Or when luck miraculously
jumps into my life
and feeds me what I want
It's gonna be a hard
devastating
Tear strangling
Tragedy

But somewhere in my brain
I tell myself
I can do it
And do it over for the world to see
Maybe in this life
In this presence
They can see what everything
really means to me
It'll be a shocking
earth shaking
smile stretching
dream that never wakes.

Kyuhyun!

This week is definitely very busy(like what the chinese horoscope said...the one xinru tells me every week... >< ) INCLUDING MY WEEKEND; I'm gonna have to finish my global extra credit and rewrite my soph tech notebook and other weekend hw.

Kyuhyun? I forgot to mention him in my last post...
Recap: 1. Henry 2. Kyuhyun 3.Hankyun 4.Donghae
got it? good. :D

busybusybusy....

Goodbye,
imagine me frantically trying to finish my hw...

Super Junior-M and SHINee.

After watching a couple of reality shows with Super Junior-M and SHINee, I have selected my favorite members from each group. :3

Super Junior-M
1.Henry!

2.HanKyung!

3.DongHae! (I know that deep down in my heart, he's really #1 out of SJ-M, but because he's so flirtatious, it would be a good idea not to fall for guys like him. :D )


SHINee
1.Taemin! HE'S SO CUTE. :3 + He's got the sexy kind of mushroom hair I love. :D

2.Key! Mushroom hair again. >3<

3.Minho. At first I really really didn't like him/ hated him. But he's pretty cute in the reality shows! :D

A more or less successful vacation.

I think this vacation was my most productive vacation of all winter breaks.
But then again, my memeory tends to fail me. The only winter break I remeber was last yr's, and the only thing i remember is hanging out with Hannah for a day....the rest is a mystery...

Surprisingly, I didn't procrastinate on all my hws.
I did the easy ones prior to today, and finished up the long ones today.
I still have hw left to do, but fortunately, they're not due on monday, so I have a bit of time.

Connie! I need you to bring in some of your rock candy and give a bit to me, please and thank you! In return, I can give you the answers to all the questions for that lab. (Isn't it ironic how I didn't do the lab, yet I did the questions? )
I answered all of the questions, including the Discussion and Conclusion sentences, except for letter ( i ).

Completed Homeworks:
1.Gym
2.Ice Cream Lab
3.Trig.

Under Completion:
1.Rock Candy Lab [ I need proof that I "did it,"
and the answer to letter (i).]
2.Memorize english vocab for quiz mon [ shall be completed at lunch]
3.Memorize chinese joke.

Future works:
1.Do the lab preparation for the lab "Formula of a Hydrate" <--I can't find it... DX
2.Must memorize chinese joke by 1/6/10
3.Finish Global Extra Credit by 1/11/10
4.Finish rewriting soph tech notebook.

The entertainment world seems like a scary/pressuring place.

At Annie's place(on Thursday), when we finished making our ice cream, we were watching this reality show that had SHINee in it and the episode of YLBFB with Super Junior-M in it.
( Her sister was watching the 2nd episode of You're Beautiful, and that's what inspired me to start/finish watching the drama over the course of 2.5 days.)
-I started watching it when I got home on Thursday and finished watching it in the afternoon today! :D

Anyway, when i got home that day, i finished watching the last parts of the episode of YLBFB with SJ-M in it. I liked their personalities, and it got me interested in popular korean groups that most teenagers today are crazy over. (boy bands like SJ, SHINee, 2PM, and such...)
I was never really interested in korean groups, although i would occasionally listen to some of the popular songs that everyone seems to know. But i was never a major fan, neither was i particularly interested in them.

But today, after finishing You're Beautiful, i started watching MusicVideos of SJ, 2PM, and SHINee, and i watched their dance moves and actually listened to their songs......

What did I notice?
The guys in all the bands seem to look alike. As in , they generally seem to have the same hairstyle, and they're all pretty/cute/hot.

I'm starting to have an interest in them.

But it kinda makes me sad. THERE ARE SO MANY OF THESE NEW KOREAN BOY BANDS POPPING OUT OF NOWHERE SO FAST. ...and they're all competing for popularity. competing with their looks and talents. Competing over the number of fans they have. Competing over who becomes the best. And it makes me think....They all probably work really hard. They all want to be liked. So what makes crazy fangirls become loyal to one group and...why not ALL of them? what makes them like this one group and not the others? don't you ever wonder what everything looks like through the eyes of famous people?

When i was little, the first thing I thought of being when growing up was to become a teacher (i think everyone has had that phase before) But the next thing i REALLY wanted to be, was a singer/actor. I really, really did. But because of financial issues, I couldnt really take classes for anything....and i was jealous of all those other little kids, taking dance classes, singing lessons, learning how to play instruments.

I remember this one time..it was a new year's party at my cousin's house. She has a piano, and knows how to play it pretty well. She played a song, and everyone praised her for it. My other cousins that were there, they knew how to play too. They all took turns playing a song. Every one of my girl cousins there played a song. Except me. At the time, I really wanted to go somewhere and hide. I was jealous i couldn;t play. Heartbroken that I was the only one wo didn't know how to play. My mom asked if I wanted to learn. I said no, I dont care about those things. Why? because i knew that even if i had said yes, she couldnt do anything about. i know it's not her fault, that she cant afford to let me take lessons for anything.

So from that day on, I kinda just gave up on the idea of wanting to become a singer/actor.......

The entertainment world. I think it's a pressuring and scary place. You can't do anything wrong, because there's always fans watching, reporters stalking, and people waiting for a chance to take you down. There;s the pressure of needing to be perfect, or seemingly perfect. To live up to the expectations of adoring fans.
It's scary. Everyone;s out there. Fighting to become known. To become part of the best.
It's scary. with millions of eyes watching you. watching your every move.
criticized for every wrong action.
run over by crazy fans for every breathtaking smile.

But it still seems nice, doesn't it? To be famous.......