不能再见了, 2009.

I went over Annie's today, and did the ice cream lab. The ice cream actually tasted okay. xD

Goodbye, 2009.
Thank you for the last '09 snow.
I'm going to miss you, even if this wasn't such a great year.
You'll be a voice at the back of my head.
Nagging at me with flashbacks of childhood when I get old.

I'm sorry if the bright color scared/blinded you when you came to this page.
The only reason I chose bright pink was because I picked out the photo first, and then had to make the background match......and Gui's pink hat stood out amongst the pictures.... :D
Why did I change my layout?!?!?!
...New Year = New layout! :D
It took me a while to pick out the colors for every single little thing. x_x


ANYWAY! Here's a laugh before you stay up trying to welcome 2010 at 12 p.m. midnight. ;]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gErOFu61v-A&feature=sub
^Off The Pill - 2009 ~ NigaHiga
LOL @;
"you may now kiss the bride"
"I see the glass half empty even when It's full"
"She was first, she won, yet no one gave a damn because apparently Michael Jackson's death was more important. And I agree. Haha just kidding." [ I AGREE ! ]
"Is that like a type of sink? Because if it isn't, it should be."
"You should never make money off of someone else's death. That's horrible. I mean really, who does that? _______ TEEHEE."
"Then again, he was just following the Nike slogan, you know, he just did it."

And now, my new year's resolutions for 2010.
1.Have a generally happy year.
2.Don't cut my hair, unless i really want/need to, or told to do so by an adult.
3.Stop dyeing my hair.
4.Put eye drops in my eyes everyday and stop forgetting to do so.
5.Use the computer less.
6.Restrain from using facebook. Suggestion: only go on when there's no school.
7.Have a collection of long necklaces!
8.Be healthy and try not to get sick. (only fevers are welcome so i can get taller!)
9.Get a cap.
10.Get new shoes. (I want new converse, but my mom thinks converse are useless.)
11.Get either a webcam or camera.
12.Walk slower (I'm constantly told that I walk too fast.)
13.Work harder for school.
14.Get another summer job.
15.Keep old friends & make new ones.
16.Continue to grow taller.
17.Continue trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
18.Accomplish something big.

I'm going to TRY to stay up till 12 midnight if my mom lets me. ><

< This was on my rooftop! :D

The day before the day before New Year! [2010]

These were my 2009 resolutions;

Success = accomplished
Fail = not accomplished

1. get a webcam. [ Fail. ]
2. actually be happy on my birthday for once? [ Success, except for the cake. ]
3. get new glasses. [ If I remember correctly, Success. ]
4. stop laughing so much. [ Fail. ]
5. LEARN HOW TO DO A HANDTSAND [ Fail. ]
6. find a crush to distract myself :D [ Fail. ]
7. get a camera. so i can stop jacking other ppl's camera :x [ Fail. ]
8. GET A JOB.......even if its just for community service. [ Success, my summer job. ]
9. keep old friends. [ Fail. & Success. ]
10. make new friends. [ Success! ]
11. GROW TALLER [ Success! ]
12. hoolahoop more often. [ Fail. ]
13. find a reason why i should pay attention to wasserstein. [ I don't remember, but most likely, Fail. ]
14. find a way NOT to fail DDP. [ Success! ]
15. PASS FRESHMAN YEAR. [ Success! ]
16. DO SCHWAIGHOFER'S MATH HW EVERYDAY. [ I don't remember this either, but most likely, Fail. ]
17. STOP PROCRASTINATING. [ Fail. ]
18. stop wasting my money on TOTO'S :X [ Partial success....... ]
19.FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANNA BE WHEN I GROW UP. [ Fail. ]
20. find a goal. [ Partial success. ]
21. achieve something. [ Success, my report card! ]
22. stop being so mean to my mom. [ Partial Success & Partial Fail. ]
23. LEARN. [ Success! ]
24. find a healthy addiction. [ F A I L . ]
25.

#25. will be filled when i think of it. [ Fail....... ]

Total: 12 Fail. 13 Success.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Today must have been the windiest day of the year!
I like the wind, but I'd rather not freeze to death.

If you didn't know, I went to The Met today with Connie and Ruole.
Wished you peeps that couldn't come......had....come...

Here are some pictures outside / inside of The Met.

-------

-------

-------

-------

This is a painting of i forget what, and i forget by who...
-------

-------

This is the guy that makes you happy every time you count yo money!
-------

Connie: "I don't like her dress. It makes her look like a pyramid."
-------

I think it looks peaceful.
-------

Cows?
-------

It's the shape that caught my attention.
-------

One of my favorites! These are photos of envelopes that look REALLY 3-Dimensional. BUT THEY'RE NOT. [found in the Modern Photography section.]
-------

Another one of my favorites! [also from the Modern Photography section]
-------

Connie and Ruole! and a painting.......
------

I think It's beautiful. [ Red Sunset on the Dneiper by Arkhip Ivanovich Kuindzhi ]
-------

Not gonna lie. Her "back asset" caught my attention.
-------

It's so cool!
-------

-------

It's ready to smack you.
-------

It's partner in crime #1.
-------

It's partner in crime #2.
-------

The mask in the middle is the only happy looking one. Of course, that's the one you can't see too well.

[There are 130 more photos, but I'm too lazy to upload them.......]

~Credits to Ruole's camera & her photography skills!
-and some of mine.......?

Today's the first time i went to The Met.
Today's the first time i went to subways and ate a footlong. [With Connie's help.]

I'm tired from walking, and the heels of my feet hurt.
Tomorrow shall be an innie day...

Tired.

Stayed in today.
Cleaned out my binder & folders.
Looked over the 35 vocab words for my english quiz next mon.
Read huck finn.

Today was productive school-wise.
But it's the first day I've felt boredom this vacation.
Spent most of my day on the computer: Facebook + MLIA + Aim.

My eyesight is getting worse.
I hate wearing glasses.

I guess I've got the blues.
I miss my friends.
I'm scared to talk to them on aim, because I think it's going to be awkward, since we haven't talked for so long. The heck would we talk about?
I'm even more afraid to call them, thinking they'll reject the idea of hanging out.
I don't want our friendships to just die, as if we were never friends. But I guess it's a bit too late for that, huh?

I don't want this year to end. Then again, I don't want this year to stretch out forever.
I have this constant feeling that I'm not good enough.
That makes me want change. Change for the better.
I can't say this school year has been crap so far, but gosh, I miss freshman year a lot. As a cluster, there was a lot of warmth felt. It felt comfortable to be a group in one whole piece.
Having different schedules doesn't allow much bonding, and everything feels so broken, scattered, and distant.
BUT THEN AGAIN, being around the same people forever and not meeting anyone new would be boring.
So I'm being hypocritical......?

...Let's just say I want the incoming year to be a good one.

Slow Dance- A poem written by a girl with cancer.

I got the poem from a facebook group. ._.
I read it
and i liked it
and i wanted you guys to read it too.



SLOW DANCE



Have you ever
watched
kids



On a merry-go-round?



Or listened to
the
rain



Slapping on the ground?



Ever followed a

butterfly's erratic flight?



Or gazed at the sun into the
fading
night?



You better slow down.



Don't
dance so
fast.



Time is short.



The music
won't
last.



Do you run through each day



On
the
fly?


When you ask How are you?



Do you hear
the
reply?



When the day is done



Do you lie
in your
bed



With the next hundred chores




Running through
your head?



You'd better
slow down



Don't dance so
fast.



Time is
short.



The music won't
last.



Ever told your
child,



We'll do it
tomorrow?



And in your
haste,



Not see
his

sorrow?



Ever lost
touch,



Let a good
friendship die



Cause you
never had time



To call
and say,'Hi'



You'd
better slow down.



Don't dance
so fast.



Time
is short.



The music won't
last.



When you run
so fast to get somewhere



You
miss half the fun of getting
there.



When you worry and hurry
through your
day,



It is like an unopened
gift....



Thrown
away.



Life is not a
race.


Do take it
slower



Hear the
music



Before the song is
over.

Merry Christmas!

I kinda forgot it was Christmas....... till Cerris called me this morning and said "merry christmas!" xD
It doesn't feel like Christmas, not that i know what it feels like....but yea....it doesnt feel special to me... ><

But i can bet you new year's is gonna feel wierd.
I dont want this year to end! i dont want a new year to come.
I feel old. DX
New year's seems to mean change. the word "new" says it all.
Maybe new is for the better. Maybe not?

I miss Hannah and Liz, my junior high friends that i was rlly close with.
we kinda stopped talking to each other and stopped hanging out since soph year started. D;

This winter break seems to be more productive than others.
normally I'd just stay home.
so far, on the 24th, i went to QCM with ruole, and today, my mom and i walked around flushing.
I guess after those three days before break, where i was stuffed with hw, i dont have THATTT much hw over break.

i did gym, and trig.

the rest of my hw:
`ice cream lab
`rock candy lab
`memeorize chinese joke
`GO TO THE MET FOR GLOBAL EXRA CREDIT. WHO WANTS TO GO WITH ME? ><
`read for english
`english quiz mon.
`soph tech project. DX

im doing the 2 labs over annie's, i think
and as for the met, idk who i'm dragging along with me yet..... >< tell me if u wanna come!

Pure white snow is pretty.

Just came back from QCM.
Diana, Alyssa and I both chipped in to get u the kidrobot donut....... :D
Alyssa, I forgot to tell you that both Cerris and I got you the studs. :]

I like taking slow walks in the snow. [as long as it's not a rlly big blizzard outside.]

Snow brings back memories of my childhood.
I grew up with my cousins from my mom's side, and I used to live with one of my aunts. she has like 3 sons. Tony's 2 yrs younger than me, and then the 2 twins, Michael and Jason are.......i think 8 yrs old by now?
I lived with them for like 6 yrs, and then they moved to florida. D;

Walking home in the snow today reminded me of them.
And then in front of my place, there was this group of little kids that were playing in the snow. That made me even more depressed.
These are the times when I wish I had a sibling, even if the sibling is rlly annoying, at least there's company. ><

So i guess snow makes me sad now......
Snow is still really pretty, though.

Horror: There's so much hw to do. T______T

I kinda like this week. :)

Even though this week was really busy / stressful / chaotic, i feel that i am pretty happy. ._.
[MY BUSY WEEK CONTINUES OVER THE WEEKEND, WITH 2 ESSAYS AND GLOBAL TEST MON. (i suck at global.) ]

According to the chinese horoscope xinru told me, this week, I'm supposed to be "more attractive to guys." I guess it's mostly true. (true-er than other horoscopes)
1-stupidhead tht wants to make it seem like we're going out. I'm starting to get really ticked off when he touches me. DX<
2-this guy from tech was staring at me observe my phone on the G train, for a really long time........ -__-
3-this freshman from gym class claims I'm his sister [ it was a dare/joke, but when he saw me after school, he yelled, "OMG. THTS MY SISTER!" me: "O___O." ] -______-

Tomorrow I'm going christmas shopping with alyssa, annie, mabel, cerris, amy, and so ons, at Queens Center Mall. :D

So much work too do D:<

[hi my sweetheart on sunday! :) ]

Rants.

My Thursdays always fail.
the usual disasters of chem lab and trig test. D:
although today's experiment went okay, :]
i have a feeling i did bad on trig test, though. D:

I want a camera.
or at least a phone that can take pictures....... DX
->my phone used to be able to take pictures, but it doesn't work now for some reason. T_T
->a webcam would be nice too. ><

warning:don't get me anything for christmas, im trying to save money for stuff. :D

stuff worth noting:
1)so today i found out this couple in my class were going out. they didnt seem like it.
surprising, huh? ._.

2)the stupid kid was waiting in front of my 8th period class. he probably wants to make it seem like we're going out. i suspect that he has a conspiracy... *_*

This whole week just seemed like fridays on repeat. everyday i was so tired, and just wanted to go home...
everyday, i wanted winter break to come.

WHY THE HECK DO TEACHERS ASSIAGN SO MUCH PROJECTS/ESSAYS THE WEEK BEFORE BREAK [and during break.]

im overwhelmed, my dearies. DX

Bleh.

Today's wednesday, tomorrow's thursday.
wednesday night and thursdays are always so busy. DX

got lab tomorrow [lab report]
chem test tomorrow
trig test [AHHHHHHH! D: ]

Today's pretty cold. ><

1)misunderstanding 9th period. about mushroomhead and i. -_______-
NO, I DONT LIKE HIM. WE'VE JUST KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR LIKE, -counts-, FOUR YEARS.
NO, WE'RE NOT GOING OUT. DX IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE KEEPS FOLLOWING ME AROUND ALL THE TIME. D:<

2)I had a scary dream last night.
this "brown" girl that i think i've seen around tech asked me if i wanted to "go down the stairs" while we were standing on the yellow line in the train station.
she was pointing to the tracks. I asked her if she wanted me to commmit suicide and she said "yes."


isn't that a nice dream? T________T

anyway, lots of hw! D:<

btw, i want a new layout too! ><

Playing my invisible guitar.

"I'm alone, on my own, and that's all i know,
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, Oh but life goes on,"
-Taylor Swift

So i was rlly upset, and I was in desperate need to release my anger.
So I listened to Taylor's song, and it inspired yet another one;


Everyday my mouth smiles wide across my face,
screeching laughter coming from my silent voice box,
I'm trying to be happy,
tryiing to smile for every desperate wish,

Occasionaly, the thunder strikes,
fire of lighting that shocks my mental sanity,
here comes the anger,
Hatred towards the world,

Feeling this great need to scream,
yell, break, run.
But here in this small room,
all i can do is pound the bed in silence.

Must not let the mother hear,
Because she has tried so hard for me,
Tried so hard.
So I need to be strong,
pretend that I don't want to be like every other teenager.

I've got the lies stored at the lining of my lips,
Ready to cover for my selfish needs,
"I'm okay, mom.
Those are for normal kids.
I can live without them."

Sorry to say,
those are all words made up of hollow lies.
And so every time the weather turns,
goes against my will,

Silence fills the atmosphere,
teeth clenched,
eyes closed,
tears flowing,

The sad song plays.
Hiding under the covers,
It feels safe to quiver in lost hope.

The tears dry,
the drought comes,
feels like dry water glued to your face,
The bitter taste of salt against your taste buds.

The pain is numbed,
through the death of yet another dream,
another wish.

And here i play my invisible guitar,
strumming to the beat of nothing,
shakiing my head at the stupidity of life,
Sarcastic laughter at my crazy dreams.

Sighs.

It's really cold today.

Thank you, Connie, for that beastly thing you made for me. :D
My mom said it was pretty!

GAH. im still pissed at myself for messing up the chem quiz! DX

I was so caught up in other things this morning/lunch that i forgot to do my chinese hw, and thats going to bring my average down by, let's say, 8 POINTS. T_T [seriously.] so now i have to memorize all the dialogues that we have to say, so that i can get some extra credit in , and maintain my 98 average. T_T

i messed up the global quiz...and the really stupid thing is i put the "Sea of Japan" next to Korea. -slaps self-

and soph tech....
the first question was so beastly. even beastly-ER than yesterday's problem.
the answer i got was "not C"
i think it's wrong...although the retards sitting around me copied my answer again.

i'd say today was a dissappointing day. bad luck seemed to be following me while i was taking those tests/quizzes. T_T

I'm working to get to base 7.

I usually write poems when I'm sad.
I should write them when I'm happy too...

so yesterday's "massive studying session" for trig failed.
all i did was open my book, look at my notes for literally 10 minutes, and closed it. done. that was my rlly hardworking phase. T_T

yet, because im a lazy ass, i still had to do hw the next day. (today)

i was lookiing around for the global textbook like a crazy maniac during lunch, and didnt get a chance to study for trig. D:<
so in the end, like 15 min before the bell, i saw this dude from my global class, and he gave me his textbook reluctantly. im a pretty evil person, since the book was his, i took it, and he ended up not being able to the hw. THTS HOW CRUEL I AM. T_T
i felt bad, i mean, he's the one who carried the fucking heavy ass textbook to school, and I get to do the hw?

so i took the trig test, and since my teacher is pro at grading it, i was able to find out my grade 10th period. i got an 87....... T_T thats my highest test grade in trig so far.... kinda disappointed, since i made STUPID mistakes.
but happy that it's my highest score yet. :D

OMG. THIS MORNING WHILE WALKING TO SCHOOL, AN ACORN OR SOMETHING DROPPED ON MY HEAD. FROM A TREE. I HAD NO CLUE WHAT IT WAS, FOR I DIDNT STOP TO TURN AND LOOK. DX

Vionna, our experiments for lab never work out. next time we shall get it right! ><
Also, hearing tht "story" about ben was sad. except after hearing it, i would be nicer to him. unless there's more......

That longass problem in sophtech makes me worry about tht test tomorrow. PLEASE LET ME GET A HUNDRED! ><

i also have a lot of hw today.......

Diana, I'll try to find time to watch bfb! ><

Most definitely.

Sometimes,
I wish I were normal,
I wish I had a house,
I wish I had my own room.

Sometimes,
I wish I had the same opportunities as everyone else,
I wish I were a better person,
I wish my family didn't just consist of two people.

Sometimes,
I wish I had a sibling,
I wish I could cry in front of someone freely,
I wish it weren't so lonely.

Sometimes,
I wish I had a talent,
I wish I meant something to the world,
I wish I weren't a failure.

Always,
It's only sometimes.
The rest of those times, I'm happy,
but it always comes back to this.

I don't want a fairytale with a happy ending,
I want my life to be a success.
I want to be truly, most definitely,
Happy.

To you it's nothing, but to me it's worth every atom of air i breath.

I got a 91.25 ! my first time in high school that my overall average is above a 90.
And this is why, the minute i touch my report card, i started smiling like a funny monkey. :)
so maybe it's not like an "OMG, UR A GENIUS!" kinda grade, but for me, it's a huge improvement.

so now im thinking that great depression after receiving MP1's report card grade was a little push to try harder. i thank you, depression. :D

sorry Diana, i can't watch bfb today, cuz i need to raise my trig average by having a massive studying session for my trig test tommorrow.
i hope i do well! ><

so yea. i dont have time to tell u guys about my day today.

uh. bye... :D

Who's going to the winter jam?

Yesterday i cried myself to sleep.
I don't remember exactly why i was crying, but i do remember it was because i was jealous of the people who had certain materialistic things i wanted.
after a while, i realized i was pitying myself, and so i cried harder because i hated myself for being such a spoiled, selfish, human being.
i had to remind myself that there were people worse off than me.
and the first people who came to mind were those in Africa. their life probably sucks most. ):

this morning, i woke up and thought, today's gonna suck. so my mood wasn't all that great.

but the first thing this morning, susan hugged me. AGAINssss. so it made me happy and i wasnt all that pissed anymore. :)

SOPH TECHHH!
Mr.McCollum told us that he will give anyone in our class who goes to the winter jam five points on their AVERAGE. who in their right mind wouldn't go now?
I'M DEFINNITELY GOING! :D
it's free! :D i dont know what the date it is, but i know it lasts from 4p.m. to 8p.m.
we're required to stay for 2 hours, so im gonna leave at six.
you need to sign up online for it too!
(there's gonna be a sign in sheet, and thats how he'll know that we went.)

why would he do such a thing, u ask?
well, he sed tech's school spirit has been going down.....so he basically wants to raise it by bribing us with these 5 points. :]
AND ITS WORKINGGGG. BWAHAHAHAHA.


so my day ends happily, knowing that my soph tech average will definitely go up third marking period! :D
unless i magically do rlly bad, then my average will cancel out and be the same....

tell me if ur going to the winter jam!

BTW; REPORT CARDS TOMORROW!

Comfort in the Cold.

The water comes down,
trickles down from hair to skin,
skin to heart.
it embraces you in its bond between elements,
encloses you in a world of warmth.

The water turns off,
and out into the cold cruel world you go.
You dry every ounce of water that touches your skin.
When we're most bare and pure,
here we think.

Think of all the ways we can change.
Forever trying,
Forever feeling that you're not good enough,
That there's something missing,
Feeling empty and vacant.

All the love given to others is absorbed ,
eaten, swallowed, taken,
and maybe, slightly,
appreciated and returned.

Here in the cold,
with nothing attached,
perhaps I could freeze.
Stand here as me,
not taking, not giving.

Here stands the naked truth,
and somehow there's comfort there,
yet there's uneasiness felt.
The mirror's blanket is wiped away,
to show the wondrous glance.

You look and wonder,
who are you?

Preternatural.

Today was wierd.

While walking to my bus stop, i didn't see a cat today. :O

then when i got to school, the first people i saw were connie and molly.
i don't usually see them first thing in the morning, before i even get up to the 4th floor, so i thought it was rlly wierd.
and to add to it, it just happened to be molly's birthday. :]

so since i was going out of my daily routine anyway, i decided to use the elevator with them,and went to the 7th floor, for breakfast.

what happened in the elevator was the wierdest thing that happened all day.

we got on , and we were too much into our converstaion to realize no one had clicked "7" , for the 7th floor.
so we went back to floor 1, where we started. -_-

so molly's friend gets on, and she's like, "Molly, im gonna throw ur present to you."
LIGHTS GO OFF.
molly's friend, "never mind..."
everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHHAA.

the end. ._.

so after going up to the 7th floor, i heard rebecca was at almonor's room, so i decided to go to his room too, to find out my grade.
i walk down to his room, and i wait with rebecca for a few minutes, but he doesn't show up, so we gave up, and went back up to breakfast.

Next wierd thing that happened today, SUSAN HUGGED ME.
and she seemed high. must have been really happy, to hug me so early in the morning, and the only other time i remember her hugging me was on my birthday. :O

lunch: i take out my chrysanthemum tea to drink, and realize there was no straw. why?
because yesterday, the baby next door had come over, and he wanted to drink soymilk, but he couldnt drink it without a straw.......
and thats how my mom stole my straw.... YEA.

soph tech: this girl came into my soph tech class wearing a diaper.
not real diaper.......but yea...this pink underwear looking thing. you would have to see it to know what im talkiing about. :X

lastly, everly told me he was happy today. wierdest thing ever.

and now im drinking milk tea. my favorite. :D

If people didn't have feelings.

Impossible is a possibility.
Not having feelings is possible,
as an impossibilty.

For, when the sun rises,
up in the sky are clouds.
They feel air,
and the air would be in you,
you'd feel alive.

When you open your eyes,
you'd feel the need to think,
and think is what you would do.
You'd think about how you felt,
reflect on the dream you had.

Dreaming about your desires, wishes,
or trying to avoid a nightmare,
you would feel.
feel the need to live.

If people didn't have feelings,
there would be no life,
there would be no death,
there wouldn't be anything.

Feelings were made to live,
breathe,
think,
react.

Feelings are felt,
even when life melts.


-didn't write a poem in a while.
thought it was about time.

I think a lot.

So i was taking a shower, and i discovered a bruise on my knee.
i have no clue how i got it, or when i got it.
wierd, huh?

I really like this tank top from forever 21;

This is the back; [ it gives like the definition of "think" ] :D


I like this one too;

I like the first one better, though.

im confused about why they're still selling these tanks when's it's winter already.

maybe it's because it's a saturday, and i have nothing better to do, but i'm blogging more than once a day, and this could become like facebook. -_______-

we were talking about stereotypes in english on fri:
stereotypes aren't always bad, but they put pressure on people who dont fit under these stereotypes.
for example: all asians are good at math, or, all asians are smart.
Trig is basically my lowest average. what now?
it makes me feel bad when i get a low grade and some non-asian wants to "compare grades" and then they're like, "OMG. I GOT A GRADE HIGHER THAN AN ASIAN"
isnt this degrading urself? it makes me feel worse, too, because i feel like i SHOULD have gotten a really good grade, and i'm too stupid to be an asian.
then again, it makes me feel good when like, we change seats, and someone goes, "yay, im sitting next to a smart asian." then again, they probably just want to cheat. -__-

Welcome to the blogging world, Vionna! :D

The title of this blog was created to tell you that Vionna has created a blog! :)
and you should follow her, and stalk........NVM... xD

Today's Saturday, and i plan on finishing 90% of my hw today. LUCKILY, i dont have that much hw this weekend, so thank you, world. :3

I tried calculating my average for MP2 yesterday, here's my results;
chem-90-95 (not shur)
almonor-90 (HOPEFULLY, A 90 ><)
trig-75-89 (i think i dropped, since MP1)
chinese- 98 (YESSSSSS! :D )
global-94 (OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGGMOO :D )
english - 90 (i wanted it to be higher T_T )
soph tech- 93(i went up 1 point here >< and everly beat me in this one D: )

my total average should be about a 90! YAY FOR ME. :D

VIONNA, here's the chem hw. :) (we kinda did it alrdy, tho)
Read pg.98 and then on pg. 99 do Q1-5
Read pg. 99-102 and then on pg. 102 do Q6-9

My hw for the weekend;
1-chem
2-trig
3-chinese quiz monday
4-study map, and i dont think we had any other hw :O (unusual O_O )
5-read for english. i actually like huckleberry finn :3

and thts it. thts little compared to other weekends. very little. :D

Apparently, it's supposed to RAIN AND SNOW today.
i've like to see how that would turn out.
I HATE SLUSH. DX.

i just want snow :3

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, MOLLY! (mon.)
hopefully i can go out today or tomorrow to get her something. :)

HAPPY! :D

Today's a good day. :)

this morning was wierd though.
like yesterday, i was walking to the bus stop, and today, i saw the cat again. O_O
except this time, it just sat there, not going anywhere, but i didn't want to risk anything, so i crossed the street, just so i could avoid the cat crossing my path.

i caught my bus right when it got to my bus stop, so i was thinking to myself that i had a piece of luck today.

Vionna didn't come to school today, cuz she got a fever and wasnt feeling well, so i was lonely during gym & chem. ><
FEEL BETTER, VIONNA!

we switched seats in chem today! i specifically told ms.hall tht i wanted to be in the front so i could see, but she puts me near the back. -_-
apparently, im too much of a good kid to have to sit in the front and be watched by her. x_______x however, i still like my seat, cuz im surrounded by ppl i can talk to :]

then lunch!
oh dear, did i love our conversation. :]
SEX. and peter's 3 assets. xD

connie was sleeping during lunch, and she seemed sad to me D:
FEEL BETTER, CONNIE :D

TRIG! got my test back. yes, i did bad. D:
73. D:< HOWEVER, i was satisfied, bcuz it was higher than i had expected, which was like in the 60's.

then chinese! I HAS A 98 AVERAGE IN CHINESE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH. i worked hard for it, tho. ><

OMGOMGOGMOMGOMGOMGOMOGGMOGMGOMOG. MY HAPPIEST MOMENT OF THE DAY.
I GOT A FUCKING 94 IN GLOBAL :D
DO U UNDERSTAND HOW PROUD/ACCOMPLISHED I FEEL?
I WENT FROM 80 FIRST MARKING PERIOD TO A 94! :D SCORE FOR NANA! TEEHEE.
and then english. i learned stuff. xD

soph tech. I SAW COURTNEYYYYYYY! :D MADE ME HAPPY. :)

i kinda calculated my average for 2nd marking period and i think it should be around a 90! :D highest average out of my freshman and sophomore year so far.
yes, a 90 isnt all tht much of an asian accomplishment, but it's MY ACCOMPLISHMENT, and i'm HAPPY. :D

annie and i hung out with rachel in flushing today!
rachel made me 11 cupcakes. :)
and then we went to toto's. :D (didnt go there for like 4 months? )

I'M CURRENTLY VERY HAPPY. :D

p.s. xinru, i hope ur "conker sore" goes away and u feel better. :)

Black cats.

This morning, i went to school with Ruole, since she slept over at my place yesterday.

so it was really windy today, but luckily, it wasn't cold. :D

as we were walking to the bus stop, a black cat crossed our path. :O
ruole pointed it out, but i didn't rlly wanna think about it, hoping the superstitiion wouldnt be true.

it came true. -_-
or it could just be because today is thursday.
EVERY thursday, there's chem lab and trig test.

but THIS thursday, Vionna had to go to the bathroom and throw up during chem lab. ):
we didnt do the lab correctly, or, let's say, we weren't following instructions, so our lab kinda messed up. so we got yelled at. :/

then, trig test. D: i know i did bad. there doesnt seem to be hope for my trig grade anymore. -_-

then, sub for chinese. good news? NO. we had Ms.Lee. the one that speaks spanish. she's evil. actually makes us do work. D:

Ruole didnt feel well today. D:

that's all the news i have for today. ._.

FEEL BETTER, VIONNA AND RUOLE! ><

"Happiness is a feeling."

Thanks for all the birthday wishes and presents. :)

Birthday was okay. It didn't suck, and as a whole, i was happy. :D

the only one thing that really ticked me off yesterday was the cake.
my dad bought it for me, and it tasted horrbile. -_- this is why i hate my dad, and there are many more reasons why. he can't do anything right, yet he thinks he's a genius. -_-
i mean, he couldn't be like a regular person and buy the asian fruit cakes that most people eat on their birthday?

somehow i think he bought the cake for himself. -_- in the cake, there was like a kind of stuffing inside, that he KNOWS i dont like to eat, and then there was the frosting. EW. D: the cake was basically too "white" for me. :/
he kept saying, it'll taste good, eat it!
NO.

i ended up not having any of the cake.

ANYWAY, every other part of the day was generally positive, so all's good. :D

i don't seem to remember the details of yesterday, so i'll spend the rest of the blog saying..........

THANK YOU;
Ruole, for the colorful star earrings :)
Alyssa, for the cell phone charm, and the balloon :D
Diana, for the sexy star bracelet :3
Vionna, for the coin purse-ish thing and the balloon :)
Xinru, for the warm hat :D
Molly, for those giant pocky xD
Rebecca, for saying a billion "Happy Birthday" 's :D
Ruole's mom, for the cute pink earrings and hair clip :]

It's December!

Christmas is near!
but i'm not getting anyone presents this year, so don't feel like you need to get me anything.

I'm probably just gonna get Diana something, cuz Diana's got this present she can't "literally" give, to give to me. O_O

I hope it snows this month!

I like snow.
I like the wind.
I DON'T like the cold.

Then there's new year.
I kinda looked back to the note i did on facebook, about the resolution thing.
yea...i only accomplished like one or two things.
pretty sad.

this year, i'm gonna make more realistic resolutions! ><
-i still want a webcam, tho. ><

HAPPY DECEMBER TO YOU!~

and HAPPY SUPER SUPER EARLY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, DIANA! :]

Where's the mountain top?

Life is wierd.

life seems so empty and vacant sometimes.
the heck is the point of living?
to go through crap and then die. :]

yet everyone tries anyway.
lives through school.
tries to become someone.
someone important to the world.
get a job, earn money, live, and possibly earn more money to support a family.

routines make life boring.
yet drama and depression arent appreciated in life.
the heck is with life?
what's considered happiness?

i dont know.
i'm in the middle of doing hw.
but i'm constantly thinking of. stuff.

majors! big topic.
i like psychology.
-can't get a job in psychology.
good in sciences.
-don't feel like injecting a needle into anyone.

i dont have any talents. bothers me.
not particularly good at anything. worries me.
i'm just a random asian brought in this world to be sorta smart.
but it's not like i'm gonna "make this world a better place." :I

about....1 day till my birthday! :]

btw, called julia today. she smoked. didnt ask what it was like.
we talked like old times, but things just feel awkward now.
she didnt listen to me.
people like her bother me.
people who strive to fit in and then achieve crap.
people like her who confuse me so.
they put up an image and seem happy. there life seems to have more meaning sometimes, with all the drama.

but i like mine better. its overly complicated, it sucks, but i'm trying.
trying to bring my grades up, go to some non crappy college, earn big bucks, and look for what they call happiness.

I'M ON MY WAY! ._.

mood swing throughout this blog? i think so.

dont know if i should retake the chem test.
i got an 89.
i think it's a bit iffy. :I
i want to try again, cuz i think i could do better.
but i dont want to screw up my grade. DX

Gloomy Black Friday.

Weather.com said it would rain nonstop friday.
I'm thankful that it didn't.

although it didn't rain, it always looked like the sky was on the verge of tears because it was so dark and gloomy out.

anyways, black friday;
i woke up at 5 in the morning with my twenty something year-old cousin, Christy. (who came from china like less than 2 years ago.)
christy wanted to buy a laptop from bestbuy, so we went to the one near queens center mall, first thing in the morning. sadly, the line for best buy was SUPEEEEEERRRRRRR LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, and we got there by like 7 a.m., so we gave up and went back to queens center mall.
we walked around in there for like 7 hours, and we couldnt find anything we liked. D:
i mean, yea, there's lots of discounts, but that doesn't mean that the things on sale are actually...nice. -_______-
so we took a rest after 7 hours of walking and went to the food court and ate KFC.
except i couldnt eat any, cause i have a stomach virus. SUCKS. ): [this week seems to be my worst ever, T_T ]
so i basically starved the whole day. ><

after queens mall, we spent another 3 hours in flushing, and christy and i both went home empty handed.

you'd think my black friday was pointless.
i thought it was pretty pointless.
im telling myself it's good exercise.

btw, i lost 4 pounds! thanks to my fever and stomach virus. ._.

my fever's basically gone, but the stomach virus still lives! T_T
which means i STILL cant eat meat or drink milk or juice. and i cant eat anything with too much oil.
this is complete misery for me because all my favorite foods go under meat, MILK TEA, and almost every asian dish has oil in it. -_______-

4 days till my birthday! i hope next week will be WAYYYYYYYYYY better than this one ><

HI MY SWEATHEART ON SUNDAY! :D

I believe in karma.

Yesterday was complete crap.
No. This whole school week was crap.

On Tuesday, someone stole my graphing calculator. (or so i assume.)
That night, i got a fever.

Wednesday morning, my temperature is 102 degrees.
I was debating whether or not to go to school;
in the end, i decided that i would go, because i had a Chemistry test, and i had spent most of monday night typing up the lab reports for Almonor, and i wanted to hand them in after 9th period.

Guess what happens. i go through a whole day of hell with a fever, and after 9th, i go up to Almonor's room on the 6th floor, AND HE'S NOT FUCKING THERE. ):
waste of my time.
I really want like at least a 90 in chem lab. almonor makes me try harder than i need to. for LAB. seriously. -_______-

oh yea. and the stupid freshmans with their "balloon dick" during lunch.
retards. -_______-
it's the second time this year i've had to bitch at those bastards. when we were freshman, we weren't that annoying.

7 days till my birthday. ><

Sometimes being a guy seems so much better.

I NEED NOKIA HEADPHONES AND A NEW MOUSE. T_T

Today basically sucked for me. D:

I got my period today. And for the 2nd time, i had SUPER bad cramps. D:<
I couldnt focus on anything. T_T
all i wanted to do was go home and sleep. ><

This week is so freaking hectic! D:<

monday, common time, getting home late and a lot of hw i had to do.
Today, the cramps and a lot of hw again.
tomorrow, PREFECT. dont you just love it? -_______- WELL, I DONT. and vionna and i might visit almonor after school becuz of his stupid lab policies. >_>
thursday: TRIG TEST THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO GET A 90 ON. D:<

and finally friday, the most hectic day ever.
i have: CHEM ESSAY DUE.
GLOBAL TEST (i suck at global.)
GLOBAL PROJECT DUE. (i suck at global. a lot.)
GLOBAL EXTRA CREDIT PROJECT DUE (i need the extra credit)

guess what, i havnt started on any of these. therefore thursday is going to be hell for me. T-T

procrastination must be killed.

What Nana #2 would be like.

Annie sent me this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcsuMryFjss&feature=related

I really like the song. and the two girls who sing it are twins.
So it got me thinking.

I wonder what it would be like to have a twin.
Would it be cool? Fun? Annoying? Painful?

Would you have crushes on the same guy?
Would one guy have crushes on both twins?

I often wonder what it would be like to have a sibling. It'd definitely be less lonely. Even if the sibling is annoying.

if I had twin, everything would be different.

I wish it didn't matter.

Sometimes i wonder why I'm not like every other teenager having those mega crushes on guys.

It's not that I don't have crushes. I have a billion super-short-term-crushes.
Maybe It's cause I'm picky with guys.
or Maybe It's cause I'm scared.
I think, in my whole entire life, I've only had ONE super serious crush in my life so far. Diana knows who I'm talking about. ._.
He goes to stuy now. And is failiing. >x<

I tend to like tall asian guys. But most of the time, I like guys for their personality. Recently, I've been crushing on guys I don't even know. -_-

So then there's the medium crushes. Guys I start thinking about out of nowhere.
This is when I start to get worried. I'm scared of liking someone too much that they'll affect my life way too much. And this is where I start to shut down my feelings. I tell myself that the guy I like will never ever like me back. That It's impossible. I feel safer when I don't like anyone. So that if they hurt me without meaning to, I won't take it to heart.
To me, liking someone is being vulnerable. And being vulnerable is a weakness. Having a weekness causes heartbreaks and heartaches. Having heartbreaks means depression. Depression is sad and no fun.

I'm a chicken when it comes to things like these.

I care about you.

You'd have to read my previous post to understand what I'm talking about.

Here's a poem dedicated to her;

I knew you'd change.
It was a given.
I knew I couldn't keep you here,
No matter how hard I tried.
But I lied anyway,
Told myself we'd always be like this,
Inseparable.
Of course, reality slaps me in the face.
And you tell me you've completely changed.
What happened?
Your friends?
Somehow it seemed evident
That you'd fall under the pressure
Why do you even care about fitting in? -_-
It's a game of 20 questions
and I've known you all my life
You wouldn't be able to answer them,
You wouldn't want to.
Wouldn't want to admit,
That what you're about to do is stupid
I want to stop you
tell you you're wrong.
But even if I held up a stop sign.
Changed the course of the wind,
Tied you to the ground,
I know
That I can't stop you now.

Why won't you listen to me.

Watching you go downhill isn't what i wanted.

OH MY GOD.
I've known my cousin julia since i was born.
she's also born in 1994.
She's considered my first best friend.
back when we were kids, we were INSEPARABLE.
then again, back when we were kids, we were never part of the same "group" in school.
she was always in the popular crowd, the bad kids. me? i was in the "wierd" ppl group. i guess i still am? ._.
ANYWAY. the reason i wrote this is because, as we grew up we both changed a lot.
we arnt as close as we used to be. I miss the old her.
She's becoming worse and worse. She keeps changing herself to be in the Popular group.
I mean , seriously, FUCK THE POPULAR GROUP. -______-

today, she told me on aim that her friends were trying to change her.
I got really pissed. -_-
and then she tells me she wants to start smoking. ITS MY WORST NIGHTMARE. D:

Here's our aim convo:
iXxjANIcE (6:52:02 PM): NANA! Sally and lisa is trying to change me into some one im not
BecauseNanaChen (6:52:23 PM): then dont change into it
BecauseNanaChen (6:52:34 PM): what are they trying to do to you, my poor baby? D:
iXxjANIcE (6:55:44 PM): LOL! Aws... They telling me to go cut my hair and get bangs and a perm witch i dont mind bout that because i was already planning to but they were like they gonna buy me clothes and high heels and boots and etc. They want me to blend in with them BecauseNanaChen (6:56:00 PM): UGH.
BecauseNanaChen (6:56:02 PM): FUCK NO
BecauseNanaChen (6:56:16 PM): julia, if that happened to you, I've be FREAKED.
iXxjANIcE (7:02:33 PM): LOL! Aws... Dam i never seen u like this before. But even if they didnt want me to change i would hav changed myself but its just that they r rushing and im just taking small steps BecauseNanaChen (7:03:01 PM): take the small steps
BecauseNanaChen (7:03:07 PM): i realllllyyy care about you, julia
BecauseNanaChen (7:03:13 PM): even if i dont show it sometimes -_-
iXxjANIcE (7:05:38 PM): AWWS!!! NANA! I LUV U! Yeah i guess thats what imma do. Take small steps
iXxjANIcE (7:06:14 PM): Nana if say i was completely changed what would u do?
BecauseNanaChen (7:06:56 PM): i wouldnt like it too much
BecauseNanaChen (7:07:01 PM): but everyone changes :/
BecauseNanaChen (7:07:08 PM): i would still love you :]
BecauseNanaChen (7:07:28 PM): but the one thing i NEVER EVER want you to do is smoke
BecauseNanaChen (7:07:33 PM): NEVER
iXxjANIcE (7:10:56 PM): .... Ur not gonna like what im about to say. I was just starting to consider smoking....
BecauseNanaChen (7:11:09 PM): why would u want to do that?
BecauseNanaChen (7:11:27 PM): give me one reason, honey :/
iXxjANIcE (7:15:09 PM): Like at first i was like im never gonna smoke but then the only reason was because i couldnt stand the smoke but now my brother smokes and he said that when ur the one smoking u dont feel the smoke
BecauseNanaChen (7:19:55 PM): OMG JULIA
BecauseNanaChen (7:19:57 PM): he smokes?
BecauseNanaChen (7:20:04 PM): that's reallyyyy bad
BecauseNanaChen (7:20:09 PM): ur going to die faster
BecauseNanaChen (7:20:14 PM): i dont want to lose you ):
BecauseNanaChen (7:20:16 PM): pleaseeee dont
BecauseNanaChen (7:20:28 PM): so what if he smokes?
BecauseNanaChen (7:20:34 PM): that doesnt mean YOU need to smoke -_-
iXxjANIcE (7:23:57 PM): Well its just once in a while. N its not about him. Just wanna try it
BecauseNanaChen (7:24:21 PM): i thought lisa didnt smoke
BecauseNanaChen (7:24:24 PM): sally didnt smoke
iXxjANIcE (7:26:08 PM): Nah they dont smoke. Its just me whos considering it. N sally says that she would never smoke and lisa said that she would also try it just once
BecauseNanaChen (7:26:48 PM): but if u get addicted, then u wont stop smoking
BecauseNanaChen (7:26:52 PM): and ull die faster
iXxjANIcE (7:29:55 PM): Nana its not like ill die that fast. N it only happens if u smoke like alot alot and my uncle he smokes like a a pack a day and hes still fine
BecauseNanaChen (7:30:31 PM): tht doesnt mean it's the same for everyone
BecauseNanaChen (7:30:39 PM): haven't u seen those things on TV?
BecauseNanaChen (7:30:49 PM): the woman with like...only 3 fingers?
BecauseNanaChen (7:30:50 PM): D:
iXxjANIcE (7:33:49 PM): No... Relax nana im not imma get into anything serious. Its just gonna be a few puffs. N compared to all those others its nothing
BecauseNanaChen (7:34:23 PM): ugh. ):


HOW THE FUCK DOES SHE EXPECT ME TO RELAX?

Wish list.

Maybe it's too early to make one for my birthday, but since I already got a super early birthday present from ruole, why not? :]

you should call dibs so that people don't get me the same thing. ><"

-a cute hat :D [that will fit my head :x ]
-super cute earrings :3
-a longgggggg necklace. :D
-a MOOD RING :D
-a STAR RING ? :D

-SOMETHING USEFUL. :]



*NOTE: IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE ORANGE. -_______- *

Chaos.

I remember talking about this in wasserstein's class last year. O_O

anyway. school is pressuring me with work.
that's why even on my blog, i remind myself of school work:

kinda long term reminders:

CHEM TEST FRIDAY
CHINESE TEST FRIDAY
SETTING PARAGRAPH FOR ENLGISH DUE FRIDAY
SOPH TECH MONSTER PROJECT
GLOBAL MONSTER PROJECT (not rlly :] )

Thursday.

Facebook says my lucky day is Thursday.
Facebook lies. ):
It finally stopped rainging today.(:
Like every Thursday, i HAD A TRIG TEST. ):
I know i did horrible. D:
My group will forever be a fail in soph tech. ):
everly forgot to bring batteries for the multimeter. so we were unprepared again. D:
we had to borrow someone else's again. x_x

after school, I BORROWED BOOKS AGAIN.! :D
i still havnt continued reading "wintergirls"
I was being insane and borrowed THREE BOOKS TODAY.
i LOVE the maximum ride series. :D (im up to the 4th book in the series)

TOMORROW'S A HALF DAY. im looking forward to it. teehee.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel.

It rained today. again. gloomy.

so we got report cards: ( from highest to lowest)
chem: 95
soph tech: 92
english: 90
chinese: 90 (dissapointed in this grade. D:)
Global: 80
trig: 80
chem lab: 80 (mr.almonor sucks.)

whats sad about this: i got a 98 in gym. it doesnt even count. yay.
-_______-

my total average was an 87.34

im not sure if i should be happy that I didnt do SUPERSUPER BAD or if i should be dissapointed in myself for not doing better than this. I feel both. ):

I dont understand how to make them circuits in soph tech. my group is useless. D:

sunny-sides:
I SAW A GUY WITH ORANGE HAIR IN TECH TODAY. (:
AND THEN I SAW A FLYING UMBRELLA. SERIOUS. FLOATING. IN MIDAIR. UPSIDE DOWN.

Birds take showers in the rain.(;

So it was raining this morning. I don't hate rain, but i dont particularly like it either. :/ anyway, as we were heading toward the G train, annie asked me why birds are flying in the rain.
I told her they were taking showers.(:
An epic fail today was when vionna and i went to 8th floor gym for the 1st time this yr. WE GOT LOST. T_T we changed on the 3rd floor, too. cuz we werent sure if we supposed to change on the 8th floor. x_x so we ended up going up the WEST SIDE. AND WE GOT LOST. until we saw Mr.almonor who gave us directions. LOL
the highlight of gym is tht I LIKE TEAM HANDBALL. (:
another thing tht gave me mixed feelings was global. i got a 96 on the map quiz. this might be the highest grade ill ever get. but the sad part was i COULD HAVE GOTTEN A 100. its just tht i forgot to write down argentina.): BUT I KNEW THE ANSWER. T_T
I FELT SMART TODAY IN SOPH TECH because i was chosen to be one of the group leaders!
it means im kinda smart. :D
sad part about this: our group was a fail. -_- no one in my group either had a multimeter, or had a WORKIING multimeter. -_______-

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOMG.
REPORT CARDS TOMORROW. IM SO SCARED. D:<
SCARED.SCARED.SCARED.SCARED.

btw: going to annie's place/flushing on the half day fri. (:

Extremely happy today.

1- Today, on the 7 train, this chubby dude with black shades in a beige suit with them professional shoes was standing in the train. he looked queer, so i went to a diff. part of the train. i thought he was gonna mug everyone on the train once the door closed. turns out he didnt, because when i left the train, he was still standing in the SAME EXACT SPOT. wierd. (:
2- I love Connie. "What kind of Huang is yellow?"
Molly: "You. ! " :D
Connie: -along the lines of ; - "HUH?"
Rebecca: "she doesnt get it. ! XD"
I teared from this.(: THANK YOU, CONNIE. <3
3-Part of the reason I'm happy is because im positive i did really well on my global quiz today. CREDITS TO STUDYING ON THE TRAIN<3 (AND ALYSSA AND VIONNA FOR QUIZZING ME AT LUNCH.)
4-Another reason why im happy: i like my soph tech project. it's really neat. I hope i get a good grade. ><
5-Saw RACHEL TODAY AT THE LIBRARY. <3 i wanna volunteer there. and work with little kids. the kids i saw today that rachel worked with WERE SO CUTE! <3 its sad how they dont have any space yet. ): annie, ruole, and i will try again next week! >6-I BORROWED A BOOK FROM THE LIBRARY! to read. xD FINALLY. this is the first time in a year i have voluntarily gone to the library to get a book. :x
--The book is called "Wintergirls" by laurie something.

Im unsually extremely happy today. I dont know why. I keep smiling out of nowhere, giving off happy vibes. I'm scared something bad's gonna happen. ):

WHAT IM LOOKING FORWARD TO:
-wed ( report cards)
-fri (half day)
-next week (moving to my new place! )

:D

My riddle is cheesy?

So this riddle is for my chem project. (:

We were shot at a piece of gold,
Surrounded by an army of fluorescent screen,
They appeared to be green.
Traveling at high speed,
The foil passed us by,
But most of us were bounced back to the other side,
What discovery am I?

Time's Running.

We take each step 5 steps at a time.
Time's running,
We're running.
Did you ever think,
S l o w d o w n .
No,
Instead,
We take each step 10 steps at a time.
Time's running,
Life's running.
It seems like 5 seconds ago we were crying,
Because the blood started pumping in our hearts,
We were born.
It seems like 5 minutes ago we were thinking,
Dinosaurs are scary,
Humans are scary.
Time's running.
Air's running.
It seems like 5 hours ago we were breathing,
Our life is living,
Our love is loving.
Time's running,
Wind's running.
It seems like 5 years ago we were pure,
We were tiny.
Now we're tinier.
Because time's running.

5 centuries ago we weren't here.
Where were we?

I need to get my act together.

I'm moving to East Elmhurst in the first week of November! :D
The apartment building is my aunt's. ._."
IT HAS A FLAT-WALKABLE ROOF! :D I plan on walking on it. (:

My eyesight is getting worse.
IT'S REALLY BAD NOW D:
I can barely see ANYTHING wihtout my glasses. ):
It's because of sophomore year. D:
I've had glasses since I was five.
I don't want to go blind. >
My test grades. They're horrible. It's a good thing we dont have to get them signed in high school.
My mom would be really dissapointed in me.
The classes that i need to try harder in are TRIG AND GLOBAL.
I used to like math. Back when I had a 98 average in algebra. Now i hate math. It's torture.
Global? IVE ALWAYS HATED IT.
these are my first marking period averages.
CHEM: 95
TRIG: I DONT KNOW
GLOBAL: I DONT KNOW
CHINESE: 90. im dissapointed in this grade. I had a 98 last yr ): It's because i stopped memorizing the dialogues. -_-
ENGLISH: 90
SOPH TECH: 92
I guess u can say I'm doing okay according to the grades you see here.
But what's scary is tht i dont know if i passed global and trig.
This is the FIRST TIME EVER i've had to worry about failing classes.
i'm scared shitless.
I hate myself for not changing my procrastinating habits, even after seeing my trig/global test grades.
i need to changeee. :/

Over and over, I keep telling myself that I'll start over and do all my hw at home and stop procrastinating. I never stop. argh.
I'm killing my grades.
For example, Yesterday, I forgot i had a chem quiz. therefore the best i can get is a 95 now. ):
now there's the chem project. i forgot what it was. i had to ask someone. -_-

like the teachers always say, I need to get my act together.

The memories.

First time in forever that i wrote a poem:

Life travels fast.
Everything changes before I can think, react, absorb.
The present isn't so bad,
But why can’t the past and the present move together?
Side by side,
Hand in hand.
Why do we let go of the old to take in the new?
Is it selfish to want to keep it all?
I miss you.
It hurts to remember.
To think about the places we’ve go, the things we’ve do.
The smiles, laughs, tears,
The memories.
I miss you.
It’s not like I can run away,
Erase my brain and forget every little thing.
It’s not like I would want to.
But everything else in this planet leaves me anyway.
Slips into my past, becomes the memories.
I miss you.
All I wish
Is that we were what we used to be,
The ones who were always together,
Stuck like super glue.
Now it’s not true,
Anymore.
But the memories,
The memories are true.

-I miss junior high. I miss freshman year. I miss you guys.